V5 - NARRATIVE, By Janelle Fann

The Nature of Rain
By Janelle Fann
-Because Penny Baby told me to write it
It disrupts life and things are not able to go on as simply as before. It can wash away tracks or mire down lives. Unquestionably powerful, it is feared and needed. To want to place shields before us is an instinctual action but how does it feel when you are immersed? When you are saturated? Intoxicating.
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I feel the nap of the carpet under my feet for the first time in days. A heightened sense of the here and now belongs to me and will pervade the time we spend together. You are soon to arrive. My heart beats faster and I walk a bit quicker around my space.

Life is long and this day is another loop in the rope that binds me here. So are you. I make no move to freshen or straighten myself or my surroundings. I hope that when you lean near me, close enough to feel the heat my heart beats out you smell me. Not perfume or deodorant, sweat or earth.
Me, my essence, my skin my breath; not covered or disguised shameful though it may be but whether you find it sour or sweet you stay and inhale. Whether I am sour or sweet you stay.

Our language isn‘t perfect and when we talk we still have to use words to communicate the important things. It is a crude arrangement but we are children. We learn as we go with the patience and curiosity that is inherent is a child‘s way of doing things.

And do we love? Why yes, of course. But love is so little and we don‘t recognize the ‗duty of love‘. We do more; we trust and that perhaps is the basis of the nature of rain. It rains and we may love it for many reasons but we don‘t trust it for many more. Ah, trust is by far the sweetest honor intimacy affords. You trust that if asked I would give all that makes life worth the trouble of breathing. I trust you never to ask me to. Has there ever been anything more enthralling than complete abandon to that dangerous animal that is trust?