The Peace Corps wants all of its volunteers to assimilate well, getting to know the cul-ture of the host country. One of the nice things about culture is that it's made up of people, just regular folks, and regular folks are fun to hang out with. Every day I get a chance to meet these supposedly mysterious "host country nationals," and every day I make a new friend or two to kick it with.
A visitor who attended our Pre-Service Training in Nyanza actually told the group that Rwandans are difficult to become friends with. I‘ve actually found the opposite to be true. My tendency is to make friends with the people around me, granted, but these people are some kind of friendly of a totally new type, in my mind. Yesterday I met a couple new dudes over a cold beer, and they both wanted to be homies. One of them called me umusore mwiza, or a nice, young, single gentleman, and the other guy invited me and my Rwandan pal to a nearby town to eat some pork one of these weekends. Pork is expensive here; we will definitely honor the invitation.
I think the tendency of my peers is not to look past the difficulties of meeting a new type of people in general. Maybe they even pass judgment a little too quickly on folks. How exhausting.
A decently attired and seemingly well-meaning store owner in town yesterday ap-proached me with a handshake and said "Good afternoon." Immediately I thought, Aha, this guy speaks English. (Any Rwandan that knows the appropriate salutation for the time of day is more advanced in icyongereza, as we all know.) I'll have fun getting some practice in speaking slowly, and maybe I'll teach him a new word or two. After a few sentences of the usual niceties – Where are you from? What do you do there? Why are you here in Rwanda? – he asked me how he could get someone to sponsor his kids in school. I don't really know much about sponsorships, and I'm not about to give my money towards something like that since my chump change wouldn't help much, so I told him to seek information at the US embassy in Kigali. Truth be told, he might be able to find some help there.
When things like this happen, the ten-dency of many is to run away and become mentally introspective, if not physically leave the scene. Ideas that occur to people in uncomfortable situations get ugly right away. I've heard some harsh things come out of the mouths of my peers, on occasion.
Folks like me can choose to remove themselves from the issues at hand and really separate themselves from the society around them, but that's really only a temporary fix. It might work for people who are just visiting, but our two-year stints are no vacation. Every day you still have to get up and see all the people around you. They're not going anywhere.
One way or another, you can either choose to smile or mope about it. I'm of the smiling variety.
The best way to get to that point is to view these people as, well, people. What if you had almost nothing? Wouldn't you want something? And when everyone is telling you these foreigners have what you want, wouldn't you ask them for it? Well, yeah. Of course you would. And so would they.
At that point of realization, one can really appreciate Rwandans (and maybe everyone) objectively. Continuing, you start to realize how people here are so exceedingly friendly. They say hello to each other on the street, taking time out of their often very busy days to figure out where their acquaintance is coming from, where he's headed, and inquire as to how the baby is coming along (Is he strong?).
Here, if one of your buddies is short on money by the end of the month, he might just go ahead and tell you he's hankering for some meat. If you're Rwandan, you know what you do? You buy a round of brochettes. From time to time, people just show up at my house around meal times. My roommate is quick on giving up her plate and finding another one so we can all eat together. The common greeting out here in the countryside is "Komera!" or "Mukomere!" Wishing someone to be strong while climbing one of these steep hills is just downright nice, in my mind. The soccer team borrows my ball (possession of which secures my position as their manager), but when it comes back, it's clean after a kid returns it to me, the ball-brandishing hand accompanied at the elbow by his other hand, showing respect for his superior. These examples go on and on, for real.
Cultural assimilation is difficult, though, but that's what we all signed up for. And keeping a positive attitude is just so much easier and less emotionally demanding then getting upset.
I have faith in all of my peers that you can find the good in people. Find a way to relate to everyone. Take advantage of your openness, positivity, and adaptability, and have fun with the cultural differences. After all, Rwandans and Americans have a lot in common – we're all just people.
Photo courtesy of A.J. Rikli
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